Retirement Weed

Retirement Weed

In the long civil war over marijuana, retirees are weighing in. Older Boomers are tuning in and smoking weed like they still have acne to worry about. I come from the “ME”generation 70’s where teenagers basically smoked pot like it was air, so I get this return to youth.

But old dudes who railed against weed as a gateway drug – to what? snacks? – are the highest growing new adopters per age group. There is finally a cutting edge trend boomers can take the lead on, getting stoned and checking their portfolios. Alta-cockers are cool again with their vape pens. Of course some just can’t figure out the technology, and must surreptitiously ask their grandchildren for help – “Don’t tell mommy it’s our secret!” – because they raised their children lying about their youthful smoking and proclaiming weed akin to devil worship. Of course retro smoking is an easier technology to adopt. But no one smokes weed anymore, now it’s called “flower” in legal dispensaries. Can we just call them Pot Shops in states like Massachusetts where adult weed recreation is legally condoned? Anyway, I’m sure older folks will appreciate a little edible too, because marijuana is fun no matter the vehicle of consumption.

Being legal for recreational use, as it is for now 25% of the country’s population, has a lot to do with this trend. What would Abby Hoffman and other dead sixties icons say if they rose up and watched our seventy year old set saying – fuck it I’m lighting up and binge watching FOX NEWS. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when a couple of older dudes try the drug for the first time and start giggling about arch supports and why they should take a trip across the country to find themselves.

Interestingly, just like in my 1970’s stoner experience, studies show older woman are less likely to adopt this trend. All this sounds like the teenage-hood boomers had once and now, after years of telling their children that pot is terrible, want to return to.

These trends are bound to get even more pronounced with polls showing over 60% of the country favor legalization and corporations lining up to reap the profits. Since I’ve met several wonderfully progressive people who have severe doubts about legalization (mothers especially and I get your concerns) that means that a decent proportion of the Trump coalition supports legalization. You see, we can agree!

Data even shows some pronounced health benefits. A recent study shows older folks who ingest use less anxiety, depression and opioid medications, which has saved Medicare about $165,000,000 every year. A study projects half a billion in Medicare savings every fucking year if the drug were delisted as a “schedule one” drug federally and legalized medically throughout the country. Opioid deaths in states with medical weed are down 25% or more.

I’m not stupid enough to say that cannabis doesn’t have its down sides. I don’t want my airline pilot to get high any more than I want them drinking. I don’t recommend doing intellectual work stoned. Though I know a few people who’ve spent careers going to work high and no one seemed to notice, their professional pot heads and, like the disclaimers say, don’t try this at home. Some people will abuse it because that happens with every legal vice. And don’t smoke and drive, please. It’s the last clarion call of the pot civil war for the intransigents now that the myths are falling. This issue is following the path of marriage rights. It took forever to get civil unions and domestic partner insurance, the equal of medical weed. Then as the public realizes who caress, let anyone get married for love (so sweet!) and as the simile goes, the same path of public acceptance leads to legal weed.

But for retirees who want to do some chilling out, please smoke, it’s far better than the other shit you’ve been doing and the more of you there are out there, the more states that will legalize weed. When that trend hits Alabama we’ll know the long pot civil war is over…